Return of the Bell

No, not you, Chel.

Last year at Sam's preschool The Bell was the source of many a fit and Bad Day. (Mommy: Did you have a good day? Sammy: "No, I didn't get to ring the bell. It was a bad day.") Miss Colleen had a bell that one child each day would ring at clean up time. If it wasn't Sam's day, look out.

Well, The Bell had followed us to the new school. On Wednesdays, they have "hill day," and go to plat atop a nearby hill. When it's time to return to the classroom, one child has the job of ringing the bell.

Uh-oh.

So this past Wednesday was Clare's day. But while on the hill, Sam grabbed the bell from her little hands and TOOK OFF! Clare was very upset by this of course, and the valiant Max decided to right the wrong....so he clobbered Sam. The teacher said she braced for Sam's screams but instead--

he laughed hysterically! A wrestling game! And Bell theivery!
It's all good.

Anatomy of a Fit

Sam had one of those inexplicable fits today. We went to the street fair in our neighborhood, and there was a free! moon bounce. He's never actually been in one before and was at first hesitant, but after watching other kids he gave it a go, and of course loved it. There was a basketball-type hoop inside and he had a grand time trying to make a basket, which he eventually did after a zillion patient tries.

That's the good part.

The fit part: another boy, slightly younger, wanted to play with the ball too. A reasonable request, unless you are 4 1/2. Sam lost it, insisting the ball was his, crying nonstop, and getting into multiple physical struggles with this other child over the ball. Fortunately this other kid was extremely good-natured and seemed to think this struggle was all part of the game, so at least there was only one screaming, crying, fit-throwing imp (mine). Eventually Sam had to be pulled out of the moon bounce by me, and the Dad in charge removed the balls from the moon bounce permanently. Sam later calmed down and had a second try, but spent the whole second time crying about the Ball That Was No Longer There. And had to be removed AGAIN.

I sometimes really worry about him with this kind of stuff. I know a certain level of it is normal, and I do know he is especially dramatic and sensitive, and prone to "scenes." Lately his drama has included statements such as "You think I'm a loser!" if we correct him or ask him to do something differently. I heard "I want to die!" (complete with moaning, tears, and throwing of self backwards on bed) in the midst of a Sorry game this weekend. He was a high-needs baby, and a high-needs toddler, and he's a high-needs preschooler. I'm pretty patient with it, I just worry....is he likely to have a mood disorder later? will he have trouble keeping friends? will he need a special school? As it is we have to regularly do breathing or counting exercises with him to help him calm down...he goes from zero to 10 in a split second. I always love when another mom will see her child slight Sam in some way, and will ask me if he's upset--to which I always smile and say--"Oh, believe me, you'd know!" About that there is definitely no mystery!!

Tag, you're it

Debbi asks us to describe My Perfect Day, so here goes:

I awake with my men, but am gloriously allowed to go back to sleep while they trudge downstairs for breakfast. An hour or so later, Hubby brings me chocolate chip pancakes and Diet Coke....I eat and do crosswords in black felt-tip pen and read.

Late late morning I shower & dress and then we all go out. The weather is slightly warm but crisp. We hang out at a park while Sam plays, and then go out for lunch. Then we hang out at a bookstore for a while, and head back home. After a little bit of time doing nothing at all, some friends come over and we have some drinks and watch the kids play and play 80's Trivial Pursuit, then we all eat Thai food that was delivered (if only!) and hang out some more until the kids are sleepy. Friends go home, Sam goes to sleep in 2 minutes, and Hubby & I cuddle up and watch "Survivor" or "House" episodes we've not yet seen, on DVD so we don't even have to forward through commercials.

There are no fits or screaming or whining episodes from anyone. There is no cooking or schedule either, I notice!

Now for Jackie's meme: Your 10 Favorite TV Characters

1. Angela Chase, My So-Called Life: A perfect show about a regular girl in her regular life.

2. Ricky Vasquez, My So-Called Life: Sweet boy, coming out with pain and being a good friend and making his way in the world.

3. Capt. Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation: Amazing leader, smart, and charmingly curmudgionish.

4. Det. Robert Goren, Law & Order: Criminal Intent: Mind Kung-fu!

5. Dr. House, House: So smart and sad, you just ache to save him. And perhaps do something else to him.

6. Diesel 10, Thomas the Tank Engine: It's good to be bad, and I love when he hits his own self in the head with his claw.

7. Det. Lennie Briscoe, Law & Order: You gotta love him.

8. Capt. Hawkeye Pierce, M*A*S*H: Cause I know him so well.

9. Ben, Felicity: I so would have picked Ben every time, too.

10. Mary Richards, The Mary Tyler Moore Show: Modern woman for any time.

First Day of School

Sam had a fabulous preschool day! His first words to me upon pickup: "I rode a scooter!" And he was the only kid who had to change clothes, because he got wet on "the wet sliding board and the wet swings." He also declared that he likes the school, his teachers and his classmates, though he doesn't know anyone's name.

This morning getting ready, he talked about "when I am 5, and when I am 6" etc...then he mentioned "when I am 16." I told him he could learn to drive and he immediately got VERY VERY stressed about this. Driving..too much pressure...only 12 years to prepare...

Reminds me of when I was about 5 or 6, and obsessed with the presidents: I had a book of US presidents that I toted around. (also had a book on medical stuff, of which my favorite section was the one on skin...I can vividly remember showing this to my Aunt Debby--"this is how a scab is made"---claerly the precursor to my current life, when at a Lunch & Learn on syphilis, everyone sees the picture cards of lesions and rashes and passes them right to me...yes , this is the kind of thing we do at lunch...my workplace is not for the faint of heart) My dad was always saying I could be anything, even president...and I got really worked up about it, because I was overwhelmed by the idea of having my first day as president, and realizing---what the hell do I do now?? I was crying and worrying and stressing, and my dad reassured me by pointing out I had to wait until I was 36, so I had a lot of time to get ready.

So Sammy gets the freak gene from me. At least I let him run!!!

A better weekend

I had a good weekend this time!

Saturday my friend Eve was in town from San Francisco & I had a little lunch party for her with some mutual friends. So great to see her. I forget exactly how much I miss her until I see her. She is one of those friends you can go a year without seeing and then it's like you saw her last week. Evie, I miss our movie dates and sharing secrets and eating whole bags of Pirate's Booty during the Oscars and shopping with Wa...

Today was my company picnic, our 2nd annual one. Having the picnic in the first place was the idea of little old me. Had lots of fun. Sam and I played hopscotch and soccer, I got to meet Kimberly's celebrity dog finally, and I learned many of my coworkers have ultra cute children.

The bad thing at the picnic--and this goes under Worst Luck Ever--Hubby, while drinking a soda, accidentally swallowed a bee....that was still alive...and stung him INSIDE his throat. Thank God he isn't allergic. he was in some mega pain though but soldiered on through the picnic anyway.

And thanks to all my friends for their support after my last post. To anonymous, who said all kinds of nasty things about Hubby: You don't know the whole story! Hubby stays home with Sam because that was OUR decision; we knew we didn't want him with anyone but us, and it is easier to live on a social work salary than an archival/library person salary (and you would think nobody makes less than a social worker, but yes, library work pays worse). Plus he wasn't all that jazzed about his work, and his grant funding was running out anyway on his current job...and I LOVE my career, my job, and my workplace. It would be very painful to give up. So it made sense for him to stay home. As much as I bitch about him, most of our problems really stem from the fact that he feels awful a lot of the time, as he has a chronic autoimmune disorder. So lighten up, especially if you're not going to identify yourself!

Sam's first day of his new preschool is tomorrow. He is very excited!! Afterwards we are going to Build a Bear Workshop, as Sam has been itching to build a bear there all summer. He's already picked out the bear's clothes! Then a lunch at Red Robin. We are having a picnic supper with my friend Leah and her little ones.

Here's one for Jackie: Hubby actually told Sam not to run ON THE PLAYGROUND! I kid you not.

Bitching

Well this past glorious holiday weekend sucked. Not totally--I had a lovely time playing endless rounds of Monopoly Jr ("Pinopoly" per Sam) with my little Game Wizard, and it was fabulous to have three days off and catch up on some cleaning and laundry and such, and not feel as if I was living in a bucket of mud and hair.

However, I had hoped to actually **do something** and dare I say, as a family. But when I suggested we take a family trek to the pool on Monday (it being the last day of the season, finally warm, and plus, didn't you promise the boy you'd come to the pool with him once more--making a whopping TWO times---before the end of the summer?), what I got was a sneer, rolled eyes, and a really bad attitude. Then, because I was upset about this--and said I was tired of feeling alone all the time--I was accused of "pouting." Which made me want to throw a certain someone out of a high window.

Then today, while out to lunch, I was told I eat "way too much" and am going to "end up in the hospital." (this because I was finishing Sam's amazingly fluffy pancakes) I am overweight, I don't eat great (though not awful) and I don't work out (even though I have repeatedly asked someone to get up before noon on weekends so I can do so occasionally, and have gotten zero response). However, I'm not immense--I would not qualify for gastric bypass, for example--and I have low cholesterol, normal bp & normal glucose. It is FAR more likely that what would land me in a hospital is a friggin relapse of bulimia, which has been in remission for 5 years. Every time I have had a relapse, it has been more serious...last time was not pretty and I would like to avoid the experience again. So, hey, if you lived with me then, and know this, how about a tiny bit of consideration and sensitivity?? I know you feel like crap, but if you want to take it out on someone, find someone else, 'k?

Obviously I'm still really pissed. And I probably shouldn't be blogging this, but the alternative is shoving it inside and frankly I don't think it's my responsibility to do that. I shoved in lots of crap in a previous relationship and it was bad news for me. And I need to be sane not just for me but for my boy.

Not even sure what else to say. Thanks for listening.