Ginapea

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Bitching

Well this past glorious holiday weekend sucked. Not totally--I had a lovely time playing endless rounds of Monopoly Jr ("Pinopoly" per Sam) with my little Game Wizard, and it was fabulous to have three days off and catch up on some cleaning and laundry and such, and not feel as if I was living in a bucket of mud and hair.

However, I had hoped to actually **do something** and dare I say, as a family. But when I suggested we take a family trek to the pool on Monday (it being the last day of the season, finally warm, and plus, didn't you promise the boy you'd come to the pool with him once more--making a whopping TWO times---before the end of the summer?), what I got was a sneer, rolled eyes, and a really bad attitude. Then, because I was upset about this--and said I was tired of feeling alone all the time--I was accused of "pouting." Which made me want to throw a certain someone out of a high window.

Then today, while out to lunch, I was told I eat "way too much" and am going to "end up in the hospital." (this because I was finishing Sam's amazingly fluffy pancakes) I am overweight, I don't eat great (though not awful) and I don't work out (even though I have repeatedly asked someone to get up before noon on weekends so I can do so occasionally, and have gotten zero response). However, I'm not immense--I would not qualify for gastric bypass, for example--and I have low cholesterol, normal bp & normal glucose. It is FAR more likely that what would land me in a hospital is a friggin relapse of bulimia, which has been in remission for 5 years. Every time I have had a relapse, it has been more serious...last time was not pretty and I would like to avoid the experience again. So, hey, if you lived with me then, and know this, how about a tiny bit of consideration and sensitivity?? I know you feel like crap, but if you want to take it out on someone, find someone else, 'k?

Obviously I'm still really pissed. And I probably shouldn't be blogging this, but the alternative is shoving it inside and frankly I don't think it's my responsibility to do that. I shoved in lots of crap in a previous relationship and it was bad news for me. And I need to be sane not just for me but for my boy.

Not even sure what else to say. Thanks for listening.

5 Comments:

At 1:30 AM, Blogger Laura said...

Yikes, Gina, I don't know what to say, either. I certainly can understand why you'd be feeling alone right now, and thinking of your feeling alone makes me sad. Whatever you do, keep talking; repressing your feelings, as you said, is pointless and unhealthy. And if you need anything, reach out to the many people who care about you. We're out here . . . .

 
At 7:48 AM, Blogger cole edwards said...

sister girlfriend.......I hear ya. Angry feelings that turn self destructive are a danger so let it OUT. If you feel up to it...let it out to the person making you mad.

Personally a hot button with me, a former active eating disordered person, it is cruel and horrible when someone says something about your eating. It is like casually saying to an alchoholic, "hey, have a drink already and lighten up!". evil and mean.

Laura is right, your peeps are around. xxxxxxx

 
At 7:49 AM, Blogger Debbi said...

Another peep here! I'm so sorry you're going through this. Anything I can do (including just listening), let me know.

 
At 11:03 PM, Anonymous sharon said...

I can't STAND when people make comments about one's eating habits. There just isn't any sincere consideration or concern that is shown by that... unless they think you're totally clueless and they're just offering wisdom about healthy nutrition. Do they really think you're going to be like, "Wow, you've shown me the light. I NEVER realized that donuts and ice cream can make you fat. Thank you so much for informing me."

What matters the most is, like you said, you're healthy. Healthy people come in all shapes and sizes. Just because overweight people have a higher risk of high cholesterol/BP/stroke etc doesn't mean all of them have those problems. And if you did have those problems, it's your DOCTOR's job to tell you what you should eat and how much you should exercise.

AARGH sorry for the rant :) Sensitive subject here, too.

 
At 12:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hubby sounds like a lazy bum to me. How can any respectable man not work, not help out around the house, and after all that.. sleep till noon? wow! All of this while his wife works to keep the family going so he can further this kind of slothlike existance? Pathetic!!! But then again.. you are allowing it. I am a man, and I could not imagine living that way. My family means too much to me. To finalize my rant, no husband, especially a lazy unemployed one, should ever call his wife's eating habits into question. get a life buddy!

 

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